The way that we are taught to parent and raise our children is to have domination over them. But children aren’t our property nor are they the location where we should find our healing.

The expectation is that women who become mothers are supposed to not look like we’re mothers. We’re not supposed to carry the archive of change to our bodies and in our psyches. Instead, we’re sold “snap back” dreams and fed an urgency to get back to “normal” even though the transformation of motherhood is anything but normal and there is no going back.

When I think of the term single mother, it literally means to me a woman who is single and is a mother. Single, meaning her relationship status only, and not the essence of her parenting journey. The term doesn’t really say enough or provide enough context.

The mental energy that it takes to be a mother is next level. All of the remembering. All of the planning. All of the dreaming. All of the scheming. All of the worrying. All of the holding. All of the believing.